I read in an article somewhere back that I am part of Generation Y. A generation of the naughties who thinks they can get what they want; have high standards, and are very selective and fussy. I guess that is right about me. I'm kindo f being on the defensive in a way. I find it easier to demean myself than have someone else demean me and just take it. I deserve it though.
The more I see these graduates unemployed, I realise that my story is just one of many, I'm just another certificate. I was one mark away from failing my Masters. Further to that, I am screwed. I'm sending graduate applications like no ones business. Recession or not; there wouldn't be enough graduate jobs for all the falsely aspiring peoples of today going to university. It seems to be that many are educated in the big brother culture (the series, not the reference to 1984), being philistines, bred on reality tv, trying to be 'intellectual' through their grade factories instead of being interested in learning. Am I a part of that generation of philistinery? I think I am.
I'm a hopeless who in another age would have been rejected from university and ended up a manual laborer and probably earned a good day's pay through a hard day's work. I'd be earning more and probably happier, I'd probably play a lot more xbox and have fun. I don't deserve a masters or a degree. That's why I was wholly inept for a PhD. I'feel like I've lost hope. In my head, I feel like its totally hopeless, I'm trying not to think through my head anymore, I'm going to 'lower' myself and be more like a normal, conformed person, just a person who is trying to get by, trying to go along with my mediocrity. I saw a vacan\cy for hospital administration; I could be qualified to take it. The thing that upsets me is that I have, in a way, become the one thing I hated the most: I aspire to be a suit, I'm worried about money, the future and career and job prospects.
I was in dream world thinking that my PhD and academic career would lift off. It is okay to be in dream world IFF you work your balls off for it. I didn't , I spent all my time chasing depressed thoughts and trying to save a girl who didn't even want me in the first place. She was just playing me.
I feel a little bit more religious lately. I feel like I have sinned and I am in a fundamental condition of damnation, I want to be saved. I will work for my salvation, believe in my salvation, hope for it. Hope for salvation is all I am working on in the light that the rest of my life is mediocre. I am accepting my mediocrity. I didnt deserve it all. Everything has turned into shit where those letters after my name should have been gold-print.
The more I see these graduates unemployed, I realise that my story is just one of many, I'm just another certificate. I was one mark away from failing my Masters. Further to that, I am screwed. I'm sending graduate applications like no ones business. Recession or not; there wouldn't be enough graduate jobs for all the falsely aspiring peoples of today going to university. It seems to be that many are educated in the big brother culture (the series, not the reference to 1984), being philistines, bred on reality tv, trying to be 'intellectual' through their grade factories instead of being interested in learning. Am I a part of that generation of philistinery? I think I am.
I'm a hopeless who in another age would have been rejected from university and ended up a manual laborer and probably earned a good day's pay through a hard day's work. I'd be earning more and probably happier, I'd probably play a lot more xbox and have fun. I don't deserve a masters or a degree. That's why I was wholly inept for a PhD. I'feel like I've lost hope. In my head, I feel like its totally hopeless, I'm trying not to think through my head anymore, I'm going to 'lower' myself and be more like a normal, conformed person, just a person who is trying to get by, trying to go along with my mediocrity. I saw a vacan\cy for hospital administration; I could be qualified to take it. The thing that upsets me is that I have, in a way, become the one thing I hated the most: I aspire to be a suit, I'm worried about money, the future and career and job prospects.
I was in dream world thinking that my PhD and academic career would lift off. It is okay to be in dream world IFF you work your balls off for it. I didn't , I spent all my time chasing depressed thoughts and trying to save a girl who didn't even want me in the first place. She was just playing me.
I feel a little bit more religious lately. I feel like I have sinned and I am in a fundamental condition of damnation, I want to be saved. I will work for my salvation, believe in my salvation, hope for it. Hope for salvation is all I am working on in the light that the rest of my life is mediocre. I am accepting my mediocrity. I didnt deserve it all. Everything has turned into shit where those letters after my name should have been gold-print.
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