The one thing I noticed when I was reading The Bell Jar was how the title character's decline was obvious to everyone but oblivious to her.
Recently I have been feeling more 'depressed', but let me state that it is in a context where my mood and attitude is getting generally better. I see it in a different way now, I think.
I think that I have lost my friends.
I ask: who are actually my friends?
|I have distanced myself from people over the past few months. I guess I'm ashamed, in other ways, I guess that I am not willing. The past few days have been very bad, I have had low motivation and not been up to doing much. Today, I spend the day doing folders and organising my correspondences, that took a couple of hours out.
I feel like a non-person sometimes. I feel lost.
Im trying so hard to be positive, but I feel the wool of past dispositions and moods slowly going over my eyes. I'm trying to fight. In some ways, I feel it is easier to go on my own thatn with anyone else. People have flaws and their flaws impose on me when they try to help, their advice is tattered and stained with their background and experiences, this can help, but other tiems it cannot.
Marie, I think about her less and less. I masturbated over her last night and then I cried. I thought that if I see her as a sexual object, if I see everyone as just a thing, a distant object and independent from my own existence
Recently I have been feeling more 'depressed', but let me state that it is in a context where my mood and attitude is getting generally better. I see it in a different way now, I think.
I think that I have lost my friends.
I ask: who are actually my friends?
|I have distanced myself from people over the past few months. I guess I'm ashamed, in other ways, I guess that I am not willing. The past few days have been very bad, I have had low motivation and not been up to doing much. Today, I spend the day doing folders and organising my correspondences, that took a couple of hours out.
I feel like a non-person sometimes. I feel lost.
Im trying so hard to be positive, but I feel the wool of past dispositions and moods slowly going over my eyes. I'm trying to fight. In some ways, I feel it is easier to go on my own thatn with anyone else. People have flaws and their flaws impose on me when they try to help, their advice is tattered and stained with their background and experiences, this can help, but other tiems it cannot.
Marie, I think about her less and less. I masturbated over her last night and then I cried. I thought that if I see her as a sexual object, if I see everyone as just a thing, a distant object and independent from my own existence
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