I got a bad feeling that I might not get a PhD...
I am really scared.
Also, I am not doing very much at the moment in my life while I am waiting. I really should do something, get a job or something, I don't know.
I don't want a job, but on the other hand, I'm not really in a position to complain.
I feel increasingly these days that I am becoming a burden on people, on Antonia, on my parents, my brother doesn't like me applying for a PhD. My parents don't approve, my mum talks as if I will fail and she already knows the result of my application.
I'm glad antonia is supporting me in some way, it is getting hard though. My heart feels heavy as I am waiting.
I am quite low in motivation at the moment. Stuck between hoping and despairing, yet experiencing neither. It is, quite simply, limbo.
I am really scared.
Also, I am not doing very much at the moment in my life while I am waiting. I really should do something, get a job or something, I don't know.
I don't want a job, but on the other hand, I'm not really in a position to complain.
I feel increasingly these days that I am becoming a burden on people, on Antonia, on my parents, my brother doesn't like me applying for a PhD. My parents don't approve, my mum talks as if I will fail and she already knows the result of my application.
I'm glad antonia is supporting me in some way, it is getting hard though. My heart feels heavy as I am waiting.
I am quite low in motivation at the moment. Stuck between hoping and despairing, yet experiencing neither. It is, quite simply, limbo.
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