Saturday, December 22, 2007

Homecoming

Coming back home is one of those student-things people go through. As an undergrad; I welcomed the reunion of old friends, the drinking, the debauchery, watching my friends get laid...from afar, and in jealousy.

Now that I've graduated; what is there to life? Well, I'm an adult now, some friends have started paid employment, others still students; myself, I'm a postgrad...

Coming home, so, what is there to expect?

  1. My parents seeing how I have changed: loss of weight (due to purging)
  2. My parents seeing how I have changed: concern about appearance (see 1.)
  3. My parents seeing how I have changed: Ear Piercing!
  4. My parents/friends seeing how I have changed: Attitude (Marie)
  5. Returning to the place of my past: implications: nostalgia, resolvement, closure, opening old wounds
  6. Reunion with friends, old and recently departed from my university city.
  7. Thinking about Marie...
  8. Gaining weight...I need to purge more, but its hard to do so with my family around.
  9. My laptop died, so no porn, or academic work for a while...

Oh well, I'm not sure how I'm going to survive 'Christmas (calorie) dinner'...

I guess I'll try and learn that word; "no", and more difficultly, say no to myself when I see the lovely turkey, the succulent gravy...God give me strength. I need to improve my body...I must lose more weight

On positive news; I bought lots of new clothes from Gap and stuff; I am now a MEDIUM!

I need to do more - I have 50-60lbs worth of shame to get rid of...I've lost 40 since september 1st

2 comments:

Sarah said...

Congrats on the MEDIUM! Are you sure you need to lose 50-60 more pounds?

M said...

I want to feel comfortable in my own skin...that way; I have less to complain about. It always makes things better to have less to hate yourself about.