Where I work there's a t***sphobia problem, and also a race problem. 

I think it's the write time to talk about it. For the past few months I have been advocating for better ways for the company to deal with it. It's been exhausting. 

The last week almost went by as quickly as the one before it. I had decided to try and conduct myself by getting as much of my work stuff done, then finishing for the day. When I finished work I'd go to the gym, which is now open, then I'd wrap it up with an extended bike ride. On Thursday I had back to back meetings, one about the various phobias of the company. After I finished, I went to the gym, I had about 30 minutes before the next session so I cycled, then my knee got fucked and I did the class with a messed up knee. Then miraculously the knee snapped back somehow and I was 'normal' towards the end of the class. My activity levels have gone up.

So have my soft drink consumption. I've also discovered Taco Bell, which is amazing! This saturday which has just finished, I set some goals for myself: go to wilkos, walk to the high street, buy some homewares from wilko, maybe see other shops around. Also: manscaping and bike maintenance. I started with the bike maintenance which seemed quite physical enough with all the lifting and the cleaning. It feels good to service my bike. It also takes quite a while. I think at this stage I service my bike about once every 3-4 weeks. I got a bit tired after the bike and then I went for a walk. I got the stuff from wilkos and I even took the bus home. It's the first time I've taken a bus since the lockdown. I just wanted to see what it was like. As I rode the bike I was just thinking to myself: the bike is so much better at doing this route. I mainly rode on the bus for the experience.

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I've got a lot of tasks set for the weekend. I have no chance of fulfilling them all. Well, not today anyway. I have put it on the laterbase. I think I might just spent the rest of my waking couple of hours trying to relax and to sleep.  

In the outside world, my place of work, the sentinel, is facing some quite bad morale issues and job cuts. there's a restructure that will redefine my job. I'm not going to get a job pay rise for at least a year to 18 months. People around the country are losing their jobs left right and centre. I have just learned to create a new routine around the gym which has re-opened and I am enjoying the limited facilities. As all this is happening, case numbers of covid are shooting up. A second lockdown seems inevitable. The question is: why hasn't it happened already?

I remember at some point in March, I was taking a taxi home from the waitrose. I was saying to the man: the cases are going up so much theres' going to be a shut down of the country like in Italy. The uber driver man asked: when do you think it will happen? I said: it should have happened about 5-10 days ago. It was maybe about 5 days later when the real lockdown happened. I still remember how traumatic the whole thing was. I realise how long 6 months is. For me at 33 (at the time) 6 months wasn't so long. At my gym there are first year uni students from the local hospital university starting medical courses. I realise how they have lost their summer, they lost their final a level year. With the universities fiasco, they could have even lost their futures. This is a mass catastrophe.

I set a reminder for myself to write about postiives. That was actually why I was writing in this outdated blog. 

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Positives: I am positive about the following today:

• My work life balance is improving
• I love cycling. I cycled 20 miles on Friday
• I am held in high esteem by the people who matter to me

Things I'm positive about in the future: pass