They say that Hell is the place where Jesus' salvation is rejected. Hell is the rejection of God. Hell is certainly a privation, a rejection. Today I went out with friends to a film. It was a teen movie about guys who were inept with women, like I used to be as a teen. Except, in true hollywood fashion; they live happily ever after and the guy gets the girl.
My life? There is no happily ever after. Yes, maybe I am closer to the one thing that is important to me; my career as an academic philosopher; but I'm still a pathetic loser, I don't have the girl, I don't have closer with my past, I don't have some resolution with my friends and family, and I don't have a smile on my face or even a hope for the future.
What do I have? Purging, a qualification that can only get me one job, memories of being great. Today I hardly ate ANYTHING at all. I ate a couple of bananas, some water, a cider, then purged, and then a chicken fillet. I hope I lose weight soon. I have been graduating from XL shirts to L. I'm kind of glad I am eating myself away.
Yours, a Fat 36' waist, 226lb bastard.
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