Hello friend,

I am currently watching a documentary on universal credit [https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000fjrq/universal-credit-inside-the-welfare-state-series-1-episode-3], the benefits system which is to be rolled out in the UK.

My mind goes back to 10 years ago when I was unemployed. The memories of seeing people have public breakdowns in the job centre and every two weeks trying to justify my existence and applying for jobs I probably wouldn't get in the present day.

In recent months and weeks, I don't really look back much. I don't look forward either. I'm reminded of my 2nd year of uni with the anxiety and how bad that was. But I am also cognizant of the fact that my life then doesnt compare to my life now.  All of the situations in the documentary do make me think that my life could go that way at some point if I ever went south. And so its important to keep fighting. That's what I have been doing of late.

So with that in mind let's think of gratitude, I am thankful for:

• My friends
• My mum and dad
• Central heating
• Being in an area not currently flooded
• Having a job
• The amazing people who run the transport services
• My local newsagents who stock my favourite drink, nutriment. 

I've had difficulties with eating and going outside lately. I barely manage to make it outside and with my food I drink nutriment which is basically a meal replacement drink, fortified flavoured milk.

'Fortified'. that word triggers me. 

In other news, I've been invited to an art event and I might email the nice woman I met at an event a couple of months ago to let her know I'm going.