Dear Diary,

I have had a really troubled sleep schedule. I woke up at 2-3pm on saturday, after I couldn't sleep during Saturday morning/Friday night. The same thing is happening again today.

What usually happens is I do a 3000kcal workout and I fall right to sleep and it's all squared out.

This coming sunday, I'm going to an event.

I've been really preoccupied lately. I'm fretting so much about saving money that I feel guilty when I spend money. I keep thinking: Is this a waste of my money or will I really use this? I've become my dad!

The thing I hate more about dwelling on purchases is the analysis paralysis which has had a very very real cost on me. In fairness I have not had any empty time in the past few days, when I've been up all night, I have really been doing something with my whole soul and full attention.

But I've had a realisation. Today I was constantly thinking about purchasing things or whether its unnecessary or not. At the same time, my sister in law is going into labour and at this very minute is in the hospital. All of those things I worry about. None of it really matters. That gave me some perspective.

Lets dwell on some positives or things I am gratitudinous about

• Pay rise begins in April (will be paid for it in May)
• I have a friend who invites me to barbeques and is good at cooking meat. Even chicken.
• I think I'm good at saving money. So good that I have managed to make a positive earning on my nutmeg account. 
• I'm in a job where nobody notices my insomnia
• I'm off to an event sunday evening, which may include wine. I'm also off to an event in April, which is a fancy high society type thing, because I'm an influencer/gatekeeper.

Anyway.

I've got some things to finish up. Maybe I'll finish by 5:30? In fairness, I did spend all of the past few hours planning the next 3 weeks. I might be up late but it is meaningful.