One of my fun films that I like to watch is Conan the Barbarian. There is this one scene, in the introduction half of the film concerning the pastoral, cultural and combat influences he has; in this one scene Im thinking of, Conan is at a feast with these (presumably) Mongol warriors. This one question comes up:
What is best in life?
One way of not thinking about Marie, is to think about her as a sexual object only. Yeah I suppose it is some kind of feminist horror or something, but it helps me cope with life, by pushing myself away from the world, and myself. I started this blog to change myself. I will change myself again.
I see the pics of her on facebook, dressed in reenactment gear and all that body paint. It clearly isnt the person I am.
So who am I?
Good question...how do I find definition? I don't like those metalheads or rockers or goths, and I'm too 'metal' for normal intellectuals.
I am me, I like Finnish death metal alongside Bach, I like family guy and read Goethe. I am me, the only one. People ought to follow me as an archetype, a standard.
It's probably sick a thing to say, but fuck it, this is my candid of thoughts. I find masturbation a mind-numbing act of relief, of detachment from the real world. When I masturbate I think of sexual things and make objects of those things that the image represents. In so making and connecting pleasure with a person, I do it through a representation and an abstraction, wanking is not sex, but something altogether distinct a sexual act. By masturbation, I feel a detachment from the world which eases my hurt feelings.
Maybe the numb feelings are coming to replace triggers and stuff like that. I welcome change, I want to be the best damn guy I can be. Consider this a new phase of me, in my ever-continuing life, this is not the last, and its not the first, but its now and I'm making the most (well I ought to anyway)
What is best in life?
One way of not thinking about Marie, is to think about her as a sexual object only. Yeah I suppose it is some kind of feminist horror or something, but it helps me cope with life, by pushing myself away from the world, and myself. I started this blog to change myself. I will change myself again.
I see the pics of her on facebook, dressed in reenactment gear and all that body paint. It clearly isnt the person I am.
So who am I?
Good question...how do I find definition? I don't like those metalheads or rockers or goths, and I'm too 'metal' for normal intellectuals.
I am me, I like Finnish death metal alongside Bach, I like family guy and read Goethe. I am me, the only one. People ought to follow me as an archetype, a standard.
It's probably sick a thing to say, but fuck it, this is my candid of thoughts. I find masturbation a mind-numbing act of relief, of detachment from the real world. When I masturbate I think of sexual things and make objects of those things that the image represents. In so making and connecting pleasure with a person, I do it through a representation and an abstraction, wanking is not sex, but something altogether distinct a sexual act. By masturbation, I feel a detachment from the world which eases my hurt feelings.
Maybe the numb feelings are coming to replace triggers and stuff like that. I welcome change, I want to be the best damn guy I can be. Consider this a new phase of me, in my ever-continuing life, this is not the last, and its not the first, but its now and I'm making the most (well I ought to anyway)
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